Posts tagged ‘wisdom’

Valentine’s Day Creed

Comfort each other. Provide a refuge and sanctuary for each other from the chill winds of the world. Your marriage is a hearth, from whence comes the peace, harmony, and warmth of soul and spirit.

Caress as you would be caressed. Warm your loved one’s body with your healing touch. Remember that as babies can die with lack of touching, so can marriages wither from lack of closeness.

Be a friend and partner. Friendship can be a peaceful island, separate and apart, in a world of turmoil and strife. Reflect upon the tranquility of the many future years you can share with a true friend, and beware of becoming battling enemies under the same roof.

Be open with each other. Bind not yourselves in the secretness that causes suspicion and doubt. Trust and reveal yourselves to each other, even as the budding rose opens to reveal its fragrance and beauty.

Listen to each other. Hear not only words, but also the non-language of tone, mood, and expression. Learn to listen to understand rather than listening to argue.

Respect each other’s rights. Remember that each is a person of flesh and blood, entitled to his or her own choices and mistakes. Each owns himself, and has the right to equality.

Allow the other to be an individual Seek not to create for each other a new mold that can only fit with much discomfort and pain. Accept the other as they are, as you would have yourself accepted.

Give each other approval. Remember criticism divides, while compliments encourage confidence in the other. Hasten not to point out the other’s mistakes, for each will soon discover his own.

Cherish your union. Let no one come between your togetherness, not child, not friend, nor possessions. Yet maintain enough separateness to allow each other his or her own uniqueness.

Love one another. Love is your river of life, your eternal source of recreating yourselves. Above all else, love one another.


New Year’s Wish for 2012

As the holiday bells ring out the old year, and sweethearts kiss, and cold hands touch and warm each other against the year ahead, may I wish you not the biggest and best of life but the small pleasures that make living worthwhile.

Sometime during the New Year, to keep your heart in practice, may you do someone a secret good deed and not get caught at it.  May you find a little island of time to read that book and write that letter, and to visit that friend.

May your next do-it-yourself project not look like you did it yourself.  May the poor relatives you helped support remember you when they win the lottery.  May your best card tricks win admiring gasps and your worst puns win admiring groans.  May all those who told you so, refrain from saying “I told you so.”

May all the predictions you’ve made for your future come true.  May just half of those optimistic predictions that your high school yearbook made for you come true.  In a time of sink or swim, may you find you can walk to shore before you call the lifeguard.  May you keep at least one ideal that you can pass along to your kids.

For a change, some rainy day when you’re late, may the train be waiting for you.  May you accidentally overhear someone saying something nice about you.  If you run into an old school friend, may you both remember each other’s names.  If you are on a diet, may someone say “You’ve lost some weight” without knowing you’re on a diet.

May that long and lonely night be brightened by a telephone call.  When you trip and fall, may there be no one watching to  laugh at you or feel sorry for you.  Sometime soon may you be waved at by a friend, smiled at by a stranger, wagged at by a puppy, run to by a child, and counted on by someone you love.

More than this, no one can wish you.

Happy New Year!

Y’Know Like

There are many things that keep me up at night – the state of the economy, the scandals splashed across the headlines each day, global warming –  but the one thing that grates upon my nerves above all else is how some people express themselves.

Years ago, when Richard Pryor began salting his stage monologue with “Motha-f****”, we were shocked, revolted even.   Since then, comedians have gotten us to laugh at words that would have earned getting your mouth washed out with soap.  Fast-forward to today and it is rare to hear someone not put the F word at some point during a conversation.

Perhaps I have become desensitized to the cuss words that have become a part of our daily language because I hardly take notice of them anymore.  I do wonder, though, what word or phrase someone will use when the occasion arises to let out a good curse.

Cursing aside, there is one thing that bothers me above all else and that is the words “Like” and “Y’know”.  Those words at the beginning, middle, and end of every sentence grate upon my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. 

This morning on the train, a young woman sat down, took out her phone, and began talking to her friend.  I don’t normally eavesdrop, but I could not help hanging on to her every word.  Part of the conversation went something like this:

“Like, I can’t believe I was asked to go to L.A. for that y’know project.  It’s like a really big deal and y’know everyone was like hoping to like go.  I know like it’s going to be like over the y’know like holidays, but who like cares, y’know?  Like, I’ll be in like L.A.!”

The phone call went on for another few minutes and the final tally was 28 Likes and 19 Y’knows.  I can only guess that an equal number of similar words was being used on the other end of the conversation.  It makes me wonder, why do some people need to use these words?  Are they a natural pause created by the mouth as it waits for the brain to catch up?

I cannot imagine Kennedy, Lincoln, or King using them in their greatest speeches, and yet today no one thinks anything of it.  It makes me wonder if, in the not so distant future, a newly elected President starts the Inaugural speech with “Y’know like …”

Resolute Resolutions

Champagne Toast

Image by Eph Zero via Flickr

With only seven weeks left in the year, some people (and you know who you are) are still striving to complete the list of resolutions that were made back in January.

In my wild and crazy youth, my resolutions were lofty goals – volunteer in causes that would change the world, contribute to worthwhile charities, etc.  Hey, what can I say, I grew up in the generation that lived to protest anything and everything.  As I grew older, the resolutions became more personal – work toward a promotion, find the man of my dreams, go back to school, write an epic novel.  Still lofty, but definitely more realistic.

Looking back on all those promises to myself that I meant to keep, I find that a surprising number of them were completed.  Not always in the same year that I made them, but kept still the same.

Perhaps that is how it should be.  Goals and dreams cannot always be fulfilled with the confines of a year.  Twelve months is far too short a time for the important things in life.  It is the perfect time, however, for the small goals – saving for and then taking a grand vacation, buying that something special you’ve wanted for years.  When scaled down, resolutions can actually be kept and then proudly checked off the list at the end of the year.

As for me, I still have one more item on my 2011 list of resolutions, but I am not worried.  I still have seven weeks to accomplish it, and then I can look forward to sitting back on New Year’s morning with one last glass of champagne in hand and writing down my resolutions for the coming year.

How about you?  How many things are still on you 2011 list?

Online Dating?

A couple dating in a cafe.

Image via Wikipedia

Online dating is all the rage, it seems.  You cannot turn on the TV without seeing a commercial for a dating service, all of them guaranteeing to match you to someone with whom you would be happy to spend the rest of your life.

It reminds me of the “good old days” when a grandmother or a favorite aunt announced they knew someone who knew someone who had a son/daughter and wouldn’t it be nice if you went to a movie together.  Thankfully, I never had to endure that situation, but a great many of my friends did. In a word – disaster.

But it did start me thinking.  Would one of these mystical magical services have matched me with my husband, my soulmate for the last thirty-four years? Would he have picked me out of all the possible matches to his so-called compatibility profile?

So I broached the subject over dinner the other night.  Without even looking up from his plate, he gave an amused snort and said, “I doubt it. We have absolutely nothing in common … except that we are perfect for each other.”

True pearls of wisdom from the poet laureate of New Jersey.

I do agree with him, however.  I always have and always will believe that love is love and it will always find its perfect match if you let it.  If you make things such as money or good looks your main criteria for finding a mate, you will end up hurt or alone. 

Writing by the Book

San Diego City College Learing Recource City r...

Image via Wikipedia

Do you have a favorite writing book? One that has made you the writer you are today? One that you could not live without?

I have read quite a few books on the subject of fiction writing when I decided to publish my first novel and, frankly, they didn’t really help me. In fact, not only did the books not help me but they confused me. First, the things the books said to do were mostly common sense. Things that a good writer should already know. Second, a lot of the way you write and how you process things is a personal choice.

There are, no doubt, people who take what these books say to heart and write exactly as they are instructed to do. If you need this sort of direction – go for it. In my opinion, however, no book is going to help you develop your own personal voice and style. The only thing that is going to help to write is to write. A lot. Start a blog, or a journal, just anything that has to do with writing. Pay attention to details and descriptions. These will prove to be highly important in the future. Anytime something pops into your head jot it down. Carry a pencil and paper with you where ever you go. You know nothing gets the creative juices flowing like a freshly sharpened pencil and a blank piece of paper. 

Go now, gentle reader, write and be productive.


At some time in our lives, we all become philosophical and examine our lives. Please read on and share in my attempt to examine life.

There was sudden light and then I saw Time coming towards me.  In fact, he was running towards me.  I said, “Hey stop and just have a word with me.” He replied, “Look my friend, I can’t stop for you or anyone else. If you want to have a word with me, you will have to run along with me.” Before I could ask why, I found I had started running with him.

We ran and ran together, until we lost count of the miles. We ran in the morning, ran in the evening and also ran at night. Together we saw the most beautiful things ever created. Together we bared the most painful pains that man ever knew. Together we bathed in sparking clear waters, together we rolled in the mud. Together we thought the most sinful thoughts. Together we fought the most useless battles. Together we made the most passionate love. Together we made our first million. Together we went bust. Together we got burnt and were left for dead. Together we rose and stood again. Together we saw the most selfless acts. Together we saw the most moving, cruel sights. Together we lived with fame. Together we played host to shame. Together we saw the new take birth, together we saw the old die away.

 Then one day, only I felt old, slow and tired. But Time was still the same – young and fast. Together we had done everything. Only together it seemed we won’t last.

I asked him will he stop for me now, because I simply couldn’t run as fast. “No,” he said, “I can’t stop for you. I have told you that before. All I can do for you now is walk instead of run.” I said that will suit me just fine.

Now Time and I walk day and night. Together we see the morning sunrise, together we say our bedtime prayers. Together we go for slow evening walks. Together we engage the youth in old talks. Together we act old and mean. Together we bless the kids all around. Together we are happy our bills are paid. Together we search for our missing pills. All this went for a while.
Then one day there was suddenly a very bright white light. After that, Time was with me no more.

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